PAIL Network Awareness Kits

“Life certainly has its own ways. For the first time [in 2023], in our front lawn, we noticed little blue forget-me-not flowers popping up! My kids all said it was Maddie’s way to say ‘Hello’ to us.  I was so happy and was inspired to bring out my watercolour set to paint.

Every day for a week, I would bring a mat and sit on my lawn to paint these flowers or sit on my front porch in the mornings or evenings to capture its beauty. I would reminisce the day Maddie was born and then imagine all the days of her growing up with us. Before I know it, I had a small collection of these flowers.” – Bonnie Kao

“Forget-Me-Not”: A Family’s Journey of Remembering Maddie 

Every August, Bonnie and her family find new ways to celebrate and honour their baby.

Madison—known lovingly as Maddie—was diagnosed with a rare congenital condition called Cloacal Exstrophy (OEIS complex), a condition affecting approximately one in 250,000 births. During pregnancy, doctors told the family there was no chance of survival and suggested termination. They chose to carry Maddie, meet her, and spend whatever time they could together.

Maddie was born on August 10—her parents’ wedding anniversary— to which Bonnie said, “We like to think this is her way to make sure we can never forget her.”

The family spent two precious hours with Maddie before saying goodbye. Bonnie recalled the walk from their hospital room to the car to be incredibly isolating. It was “eerily quiet” with no bereavement support options offered to them upon leaving. She reflected on that and thought, “people don’t talk about child loss because there is this stigma where nothing has happened yet, so what’s the big deal. It’s lonely. No wonder people don’t talk about it.”

She was looking for a place to be vulnerable where others talked about their losses. She searched online for “child loss support groups in Canada” and that’s where she found PAIL Network on Facebook.

Commemoration for the whole family

August has become an opportunity to celebrate Maddie’s life in a different way. Maddie’s first birthday was marked with balloons, homemade cupcakes, and Happy Birthday sung alongside Maddie’s older sister. They later created a custom ivory urn, now nestled inside a pink plush elephant that remains in their bedroom.

One year they made an art piece using string. She said “it came with 3 hearts and vinyl printed names of our three children. Together, we spent the afternoon using nails and hammers to work on this art piece and my daughter and son did all the string art and applied the names. It now hangs on our living room wall.”

Each new year brought new traditions—family picnics, homemade cakes, flying kites, watercolor painting, meaningful artwork, and even embarking on launching a family business that honors Madison right in its name.

Some years were a lot harder than others, Bonnie admitted. Recalling the year her rainbow baby was born in 2018, she said “This year it was especially difficult for our family. My rainbow baby was born and we felt super blessed to have him. As the days approach his first birthday (Aug 24th), all I remember was not ever being able to celebrate our Maddie and holding her. I found myself grieving all over again because I realized everything we would never get to experience with Maddie.”

When Bonnie was asked about continuing to cope with her loss, she said “with time, you gain mechanisms in your toolbox; learn ways to pre-emptively recognize (triggers) so you can manage your reactions. It’s like a new part of me has grown.” Rather than allowing grief to silence them, the family has continued to find ways to transform it into acts of love.

Bonnie’s story is a reminder that grief and joy can exist together—and that remembrance isn’t only about looking back. Sometimes, it’s about continuing to love someone in new ways, year after year. Maddie’s legacy isn’t measured by the length of her life, but by the kindness, creativity, and conversations her memory continues to inspire.

“We have done so much with our Maddie. Thank you for honoring her and allowing us to be a part of this year’s PAIL Network awareness campaign.”

To receive one of Bonnie’s ‘Forget-Me-Not’ blank greeting cards in PAIL Network’s 2026 Awareness Kit, please visit https://sunnybrook.formstack.com/forms/awareness_kits

Medicine Walk Feather Sticker Design

In August of 2026, we connected with Rebecca Maracle, Artist, Traditional Medicine Healer and a member of the Haudenosaunee, to talk about collaborating on PAIL Network’s October 15 Awareness Kit. Immediately drawn to the brightness and lavender colour in her original design Medicine Walk, we asked if she could share more about nature as medicine and how that knowledge might resonate with people who have experienced a pregnancy or infant loss. This is what she had to say:

Medicine Walk

“Picture this… A brisk morning, the sun shining brightly as you head into the forest, the path stretched out before you. You look around and see tracks in the mud, the breeze blowing the fragrant scent of lilacs around you & the songs of the birds coming to life. There is beauty all around you, Spirit has bathed you in Forest Medicine… feel the love, feel the light, feel the Medicine. The forest loves you.”

Your angels, your ancestors and the natural world are here to support you through this journey of healing,

Many plants in the natural world are here to help us regain a sense of self and the songs of the birds we hear call us back into our bodies. When you step outside there’s no restriction to how we breathe, there is space for you to expand your breath but also to process and release the grief. It’s okay to be overwhelmed with emotion because creation knows how to hold that with you and for you. Turn your face toward the sun, feel the grass beneath your feet, root into the Earth.