On December 19th, 2009, my boyfriend John and I found out we were expecting. We were so excited. None of us has children, yet we both wanted them. The entire family was excited. My parents were finally going to be grandparents, our in-laws were going to have their second grandchild and our siblings were going to be aunts and uncles. Everyone was so happy to hear the news.
The pregnancy was going pretty well except for the extremely soar breasts. On January 6th, 2010 I developed a pretty high fever. The fever lasted a couple of hours until I notice some spotting on my underwear. I was freaking out. This was my first pregnancy and I didn’t know what to think. Since it was late at night when I developed this fever, I decided to call Telehealth to see if there was something I should do, or something I should take. As I was on the phone with them I felt a gush. I dropped the phone and went straight to the washroom. I noticed something strange so I saved it on a tissue paper and we went straight to the hospital.
I didn’t have to wait very long thankfully. I explained to the doctor that I was almost a month pregnant with a fever and spotting. I showed him what came out of me and asked if it was a blood clot. He took it, and left the room to examine it. I did not think this was a blood clot. I knew what blood clots looked like. Once the doctor came back, I asked him if it was a blood clot. He put his head down and said no. Right then and there my heart dropped. I had just lost my pregnancy. I didn’t even get the chance to see my baby on an ultrasound. I didn’t get a chance to hear his heartbeat. It was done just like that. Doctor told me I should make an appointment with my family doctor to check my blood work and do an ultrasound within a couple of days. We were devastated.
A few days go by and I finally have my doctor’s appointment. I had to do blood work to check my HCG levels a urine sample and book and ultrasound appointment. The urine sample was the only thing I was able to get results back right away. According the urine sample I was still pregnant. Doctor explained that I shouldn’t get my hopes up because I was just pregnant and my HCG levels are still all over the place from the miscarriage.
I had my ultrasound 2 days later. The unexpected happened!! I was STILL pregnant, BUT with 2 babies; which means I was having triplets once upon a time. I was freaking out. I was sad yet happy at the same time. I lost a child which hurt so much, but I was still going to go on and have kids.
Everyone was excited all over again. We knew no one in John’s family or mine who had multiples. John and I conceived naturally and weren’t expecting this. It was truly a miracle.
Everything was going great. We got to see them on the ultrasound. They were fraternal twins. Two sacks, two placentas. Later on we found out that they were both Boys!!!!! We were going to have twin boys!!!! John and I had pieces of paper everywhere with names.
On April 25th, 2010, around 7pm I started to have what I thought were Braxton hicks. No pain just some tightening. As the time went by, it started to get really uncomfortable. So I decided to go to sleep. I woke up at around midnight to a very intense pain. I thought one of them may have kicked me in a bad spot. They moved a lot. A couple minutes later another strong pain. They started coming faster and faster. I woke John up as well as my parents and told them something was wrong. We need to go to the hospital. We went to one hospital thinking we wouldn’t have to wait long, but they didn’t deal with high risk pregnancies, so they sent me to another. I was in such horrible pain.
We got to the hospital they admitted me in right away. Checked me out and told me I was 9cm dilated. I told them no way I’m only 22 weeks gestation. It’s way too early. The Doctor said your babies will be here any moment. Prepare yourself for the worst. Your babies are born too soon and we can’t do anything.
April 26th, 2010 Baby Liam was born, weighing 1LB 1OZ. He was sooooo small, but perfect. All his fingers, all his toes, a cute little nose and beautiful lips. He even had a little bit of hair. Liam lived for 1 hour and 16 minutes. His eyes were fused shut the entire time. He died in mine and Johns arms.
Doctors said that baby B should be here any time now. They were wrong. My contractions stopped. I didn’t even have any contractions to get Liam’s placenta out. After 24 hours and no baby B doctors gave me a shot to help the lung development. Baby B stayed inside for an extra week.
On May 1st, 2010 (the day before my birthday) Baby Nathan was born, weighing 1LB 7OZ. I insisted the doctors save him. I’ve already lost 2 children from this pregnancy. My heart couldn’t take the loss of another one. Nathan was rushed to a different hospital. A hospital that was better equipped for his needs. I had to stay in the original hospital.
Nathan was born due to an infection. Liam’s placenta was rotting inside of me and made me very sick. I had a fever of 105 and the doctors had to terminate the pregnancy or else Nathan and I would both die. After the delivery my fever finally started to break. I was so scared I barely had the chance to see little Nathan before he got taken away. I was able to see him the next day on my birthday, but wasn’t able to stay for too long as the original hospital wanted me back to monitor my infection.
On May 3rd, 2010 I received a phone call saying Baby Nathan wasn’t doing very well. WE rushed to the hospital. Nathan had a lot of holes in what little lungs he had. Every time the machine would take a break for him, his lungs would collapse on his heart. After given the list of things wrong with him, we had to make the biggest choice of our lives. We chose to take Nathan off of life support and let him go be with his twin brother Liam.
Once he was taken off life support Nathan lived for the exact same amount of time and Liam. 1 hour and 16 minutes to the T.
What started with 3 ended with 0……… Doctors weren’t able to give me a reason why I just lost all 3 of my children.
Pregnancy and infant loss needs more awareness. The pain us parents/family have to go threw is intense. We had so many hopes and dreams and they came crashing down on us.
I was able to put my pain into a beautiful project in memory of my angel babies. I know they are all proud of me.
