Toolkit for October 15 Events

• Light a candle and place it in your window (remember to stay safe!)
• Turn on your porch light
• Invite Family and Friends over so they can show their love and support
• Write an editorial letter to the local paper
• Organize a community event to promote a better understanding of pregnancy and infant loss. Locations could include parks, churches, hospital, gardens etc.
• Ask Mayor’s office to make a proclamation for October 15
• Take pictures and share them with the hashtag #waveoflight
• Display your Pinwheels from PAIL Network

• Distribute candles, either wax or LED. Bring a permanent marker for families to write the name of their baby on the candle.
• Have Pinwheels available for families. Place your order.
• Play music, if desired. A community musician may be a welcomed addition to your event, although a simple soft music selection can add a warmth to the environment, just by playing it from your mobile device. We have included some suggestions that families have used at previous events.
• Light candles at 7 p.m. to be part of the “Wave of Light”. Encourage families to take photos of their candles and of the event to share on social media.
• Invite families to say a few words- some locations have had families come and place their candle alongside other candles and say their babies name as they are placed together, other locations will have a more formal time for families to come forward, if they wish. Another idea would be to gather the names of the babies from families as they arrive, and have one person read aloud the names of babies being remembered.
• You may wish to include a poem or reading- we have included a few samples sent to us by families that have been used in previous events.
• Allow for some time for families to connect with one another, if they wish.
• Some locations like to have PAIL Network brochures available at their events. If you would like to have some brochures, please contact us at pailnetwork@sunnybrook.ca.

Music suggestions

• In the Arms of an Angel
• The Prayer
• You Raise Me Up
• To Where You Are
• Tears in Heaven
• Let It Be
• Go In Peace

Words of Hope

I’ll Love You Forever

I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be

The World May Never Notice

The world may never notice
If a rosebud doesn’t bloom
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon
But every life that ever forms
Or even comes to be
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity

The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on
And though are arms are empty
Our hearts know what to do
Every beating of our hearts says
We will remember you.

Just for Today – For Bereaved Parents

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours
and not expect to get over my child’s death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child’s life, not just her death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days
and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn’t help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could of done to save my child from death,
I would of done it.

Just for today I will honor my child’s memory
by doing something with another child
because I know that would make my own child proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship
to another bereaved parent
for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and have had my child for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,
for I know that I am not deserting her by living on.

Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on,
and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.

Vicki Tushingham

Eskimo Proverb

Perhaps they are not stars
But rather openings in heaven
Where the love of our lost ones
Pours through and shines down upon us
To let us know they are happy

You Changed Me

You changed me
You changed who I am
You changed who I will be
I am forever changed because of you.

You’ve taught me that love has no boundaries
You’ve taught me that there is more to life than what I know
You’ve taught me the strength of a bond between a mother and a child.

Life is unpredictable.
Life is about the love you share and the people you share it with
Life isn’t easy and there is pain beyond measure
But my life must continue, even though your life is gone.

I must continue so that I can change the lives of others
The way you have forever changed me.

~Author Unknown

Those We Love

Those we love don’t go away
They walk beside us every day.
Unseen, unheard, but always near.
Still loved, still missed and very dear.

After the clouds, the sunshine
After the Winter, the Spring
After the shower, the rainbow
For life is a changeable thing.

After the night, the morning
Bidding all darkness cease
After life’s cares and sorrows
The comfort and sweetness of peace

Please feel welcome to choose your own music and readings to make this time of remembrance truly personal.