Finding out we were pregnant with our first child was so exciting and scary all at the same time.
Our story started like any other, we told our family and friends at 8 weeks, everyone was so excited! We couldn’t wait to find out if it was a boy or girl!
Weeks passed and it was the day of the gender reveal. We had a party planned that night for the announcement of the gender.
Walking in to the ultrasound we had never imagined that something would be wrong. As the technician started looking she saw that there was fluid around the heart, lungs and kidneys. Our hearts dropped as they told us the news, we were sent straight to the high risk doctor down the hall. My husband and I were shocked, completely surrounded by emotions and fear!
The doctor came in and told us that our child either had Down syndrome or Turners syndrome. They immediately wanted to do an amniocentesis test to know for sure.
Sitting there in that quiet room waiting to have the test done was too much to handle.
After days of waiting on the results, we prayed that they were wrong. Our sweet daughter had turners syndrome. Knowing this was so emotionally trying, we didn’t know what to do next. We were told she had a 1 and 5 chance of survival. The odds were not in her favour but that didn’t stop us from praying for a miracle. As her symptoms got worse and my amniotic fluid lessened, we still prayed.
On February 7th our worst nightmare came true, the words “there is no heartbeat” still ring in my head. We delivered our sweet Rylee Brooke on February 8th 2014 at 4:46am; she was 1lb and 5oz. She was welcomed by my husband and I; grandparents, great grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and close friends. She will always be missed by each of us!
A mother should never have to bury her child. The viewing and funeral was beautiful. She was buried in a baby garden with other angel babies gone too soon.
“Heaven and earth may separate us today, but nothing will ever change the fact that you made me a mom”
The Aftermath:
Coming home from the hospital was the hardest thing I have ever done. I didn’t want to leave. She was there, I could see her and hold her and knowing once I left it would be final was devastating.
The day after her funeral it snowed and my father told me she sent that to me. I truly believe she did! She wanted me to see that even though she wasn’t here with me, the world was still beautiful.
Losing a child was never something I had ever thought would happen to me, like so many others. The amount of calls, messages and cards were overflowing. Weeks passed and life goes on, and everyone goes back to their routines. Even though they do not forget what has happened, being alone was very hard.
Going through the day to day routines were trying at times. At times it felt as if it never happened and then in the same instant it felt like it happened the day before.
When I was I the hospital I received a memory box, inside it contained many keepsake items, such as her handprints and footprints, her arm bands, a baby ring, a dress she wore while I was there and a crocheted blanket and hat. This box means so much to me; I honestly do not know what I would do with out it. It brings me comfort when I am sad; it gives me strength when I feel weak. While staying in the hospital I met a wonderful women named Evelyn, she is the family services women at Brookwood women’s center of Birmingham, Alabama. I have never met someone with such love and comfort toward a stranger she just met before. From the moment she came through the door she truly showed such love and support to my husband and I, as well as our family.
I feel that if I can help just one family through this grief then I am honouring my sweet Rylee.
