It will be 3 years ago on October 19th that we found out we were having a little girl, 3 years ago on Oct 27th she was born sleeping at 20 weeks.

We went for our routine ultrasound to find out the sex of our 3rd child. A little girl. Everything looked perfect from what we could see in the ultrasound and her heartbeat was strong but of course we would have to wait until we see the doctor to know for sure. I left the hospital thrilled, finally a little sister for my boys.

Everything about my pregnancy was normal until Oct 25th. I started bleeding and was sent for a second ultrasound. I remember, there was no sound during the ultrasound. The technician took some pictures then turned off the monitors and quietly left the room. I knew.

The doctor came in and confirmed her death. “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat”. I was then sent up to Labor and Delivery for a series of blood tests and questions, most of that is a blur. The hospital was busy that day so I was sent home to wait until a bed opened up for me to deliver my baby. They said it could be days before we got a call.

We waited 2 days, 2 very long days. After 9 hrs of labor, she was born sleeping. She was so tiny. We spent just a few minutes with her and then we left the maternity ward with no baby. Only a box of keepsakes; tiny hand and foot prints, a hat and a picture. Later we would pick up her ashes from the funeral home.

It was decided her death was caused by an umbilical cord accident. Nothing could have prevented her death, just an accident.

This was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It’s been 3 years and I remember like it happened yesterday. I finally feel like I can move forward but for the rest of my life a small piece will be missing.