Today is Bereaved Mothers Day, I choose to celebrate my own story and value as a mom. I am not bound with others definition or views but have confidence with whom the Lord says I am and what I know that I have experienced — and that is to be the mother of my two children that are now in heaven, Jio & Joshua.
Not celebrating and acknowledging the short and beautiful experience I had with my boys would mean, they did not exist. No matter how hard for me to replay the only memories I had with them in my arms, I choose to value those very moments. Every tears I shed, every hurt that my heart felt, meant a genuine love that I have for them.
I remember my mama told me, that a mother would do anything for her child because she loves them, even if it means risking her own life. Giving birth to both of my son, two and a half weeks apart, was both beautiful and traumatic experience for me. It was beautiful because of their lives I carried and God made me their mother- whom I will cherish forever. And it is also a traumatic experience, as the unexpected outcome led to the pain of losing them and almost losing my own life.
I grieve and I love— on this day, I remember all the grieving moms who experienced pregnancy and infant loss, to bring awareness to the very dark and isolating experience that we faced during the initial times of our loss, sitting in silence, the shock, experiencing the feelings of guilt, shame, emptiness and sorrow.
Behind all these feelings, is truly a courageous, strong, and resilient women who are warriors for enduring such vulnerabilities that our society do not see. I bring light and insight to the true experience and pain of these women, as I share my own truth, my story and the loss of my two precious boys here in this side of heaven.